


Mum's the Word

by hazel_3017



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Duper's POV, M/M, Matchmaking, Mpreg, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4656306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazel_3017/pseuds/hazel_3017
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s like, a random, pretty useless gift he has; he can just tell when someone is pregnant. Whatever. It’s no big deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mum's the Word

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This work is a piece of fiction
> 
> For the wonderful book23worm on tumblr <3 <3

The thing is, Sid’s pregnancy? Pretty obvious from the get go.

Pascal has four kids, okay? He  ~~survived~~  remembers all of his wife’s four pregnancies, and, it’s like, a random, pretty useless gift he has; he can just tell when someone is pregnant. Whatever. It’s no big deal.

What  _is_  a big deal is that Sid is pregnant and doesn’t appear to know so himself just yet. Which isn’t all that strange, Pascal thinks as he eyes Sid’s stomach critically when he walks past, because he can’t be more than a couple of weeks along – it coincides with the not so incidental arrival of Geno back in Pittsburgh. Sid can say there is nothing going on between the two of them until he’s blue in the face, but Sid is one of his best friends, and Pascal knows his  _I-just-got-laid-and-it-was-a-good-lay-so-now-i’m-in-a-good-mood-which-is-the-only-reason-I’ll-go-gentle-on-you-in-practice-today_ face, and Sid wore it to the new rink two weeks ago.

Also, Geno had swaggered into their informal skate as if he was the first man to get laid, ever, and he might as well have written  _I sexed up Sidney Crosby last night_ on his forehead for all his subtlety. Or lack there of.

Pascal has no idea what the hell their relationship status is right now; they flirt as if they’re a couple of teenagers with their first crush, which is to say chastely and so adorable Pascal sometimes catches himself cooing over how cute they are (he’s a little disturbed by it, to be honest), but they leave separately at the end of their informal practices and seem to be busy with their individual stuff – watching Geno mentor their new baby Russian is both hilarious and sweet.

This puts Pascal in a bit of a dilemma, though. He’s pretty sure Sid is pregnant, he’s pretty sure Geno is the dad, he’s pretty sure (sort of sure) they’re not together, and has no idea what to do about it all other than the fact that  _something_ has to be done.

(“Pascal Dupuis! Don’t you go interfering into things that are none of your business!” Carol-Lynne snaps at him in French when he tells her. “You have to let them figure out things for themselves.” She pauses, looking thoughtful for a second. “Up until twelve weeks. He can’t play past twelve weeks pregnant,” she says, nodding decisively.

Pascal would rather Sid didn’t play at all, but his wife reminds him that at this point, the foetus is pretty much just a bunch of cells and will be protected by the bony pelvis or something like that. It is safe for Sid to play hockey for now, is what she’s saying.)

So Pascal has about ten weeks to, well, not interfere  _per se_. He’ll just, uh, exercise his right as best friend. Which  _might_ include a little matchmaking and  _might_ include keeping Sid safe on the ice. Whatever. It’s his right as best friend.

It goes…well. 

Pascal not so subtly suggests Sid take Sergei Jr. out for dinner to welcome him to Pittsburgh and to the team – as his captainly duty, and well, Sergei’s English isn’t all that good yet; it’s only natural that Geno tag along, like Sergei Sr. had done so many times early on in Sid and Geno’s acquaintance.

Pascal absolutely does not snigger when Gonch says, “He’s not gonna suffer even  _half_ as much as I did, is he?” 

He’s absolutely right. If Pascal’s plan works, Sergei, not Geno, is going to be the third wheel on this not-date.

And because Pascal is clearly a genius, the plan works beautifully. So well, in fact, that Sergei finds him the next day, telling him – with the long-sufferingly aid of Gonch – “Please, Duper. I am very grateful that you want me to feel welcome in Pittsburgh, but please, never send me out to dinner with just the two of them again. Ever.”

Pascal think it best not to ask, but he’s pretty sure Sid and Geno were disgustingly cute together and forgot everything around them as per their MO.

His off-ice plotting is going well, he decides, but having passed the eight week marker of Sid’s (possible) pregnancy, Pascal is far beyond getting antsy on the ice. He’s lost count of how many times he’s taken a hit for Sid, getting in between him and whoever is playing D with no time to brace himself for the impact.

Technically, he knows that the embryo is safely nestled inside Sid’s uterus and that the pads and under armour means he can play safely for another four weeks. But! But he’s  _pregnant_  (likely), and Pascal just can’t let him go through rough play on the ice. He just can’t.

By the time another week goes by and Sid’s morning sickness kicks in with a vengeance ( _definitely_ pregnant), Pascal has never been more relieved for it still to be the pre-season. He’s already bruised enough that he’s not sure he would have survived the start of the season playing buffer to Sid and the D pair that usually draw the tough assignments.

Of course, Sid doesn’t share his sentiment.

“What.” Pascal says flatly. It’s October 8th and they’re in Dallas – Sid tagging along because of course he would. It doesn’t matter that he can barely go ten minutes without puking his guts out. There was no way he was going to miss the season opener.

“I’m going to play tonight,” Sidney repeats, skilfully ignoring Geno’s disapproving frown with the air of someone used to people telling him not to do something and then going ahead and doing it anyway. “Doc says it’s okay, and coach will keep my minutes low.”

“You literally cannot go ten minutes without throwing up. You’re obviously not well enough to play,” Pascal says, and next to him, Geno nods fiercely.

Sid ignores them both. 

Pascal bites his lip, anxiously watching as Sid tapes his stick just so. He looks at him, and for a second, all he can see is Sid being hit on the ice.

“You’re pregnant!” he bursts out. “You can’t play!”

From across the locker room, Pascal can hear Flower say, “He’s  _what_ now?”

Sid looks up from his task, blinking at Pascal in obvious surprise. “How did you know?” he asks, baffled, and then it’s Pascal’s turn to blink, feeling completely blindsided.

“Wait? You  _know_?”

Next to him, Geno snorts, shaking his head, and Sid says, “Of course I know. I’m pregnant, not stupid.”

“Uhm, excuse me,” Flower interrupts them. He stalks across the room, stopping before Sid’s stall. “You’re pregnant? What the fuck do you think you’re doing, playing tonight?”

Sid smiles up at him, not able to contain his bright happiness even as he says, “I am! And Doc says it’s okay to play tonight. I’m only eight weeks along–”

Pascal tunes out for a second as Sid explains he can technically play until twelve weeks, but that he’ll only be skating tonight before going on IR.

Eight weeks pregnant, Sid said. But really it should be ten…Which means that Pascal is off by two weeks. Which means–

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters under his breath. Sid wasn’t pregnant when he started his matchmaking, to get Sid and Geno together. For a baby that hadn’t existed. At that point.

Wait. Was Geno even the father?

“He is,” Sid says happily, positively beaming when Geno leans over Pascal to give Sidney a loud smack on the lips – and oh, Pascal said that aloud.

“What?” Flower says, outraged. He glares between all of them. “How did I not know about any of this?”

And, as it turns out, Pascal’s matchmaking really did work.

They got together when Pascal thought they did, but for what was supposed to be a one off, and then they’d ended up on the not-date, and after Sergei had made his escape at his earliest convenience, things had escalated from there.

“Wanted to keep it secret,” Geno says, grinning at them. “Little bit new, so just for us.”

“And then we found out about the pregnancy,” Sid adds. “I didn’t want to jinx it, so we decided we would wait to tell you guys until after tonight.”

They get swept up in a wave of well wishes and concern for Sid’s safety on the ice, and it turns out Pascal was way off base, way off, all along – even if Sid  _did_ end up getting pregnant.

So maybe his gift is 50/50. Whatever.

**Author's Note:**

> Can be found on [tumblr](http://www.hazel3017.tumblr.com) XDD

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Mum's the Word by Hazel_3017](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698531) by [brightnail](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightnail/pseuds/brightnail)




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